Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a father who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a man and a father. Above all, the Dad of the Month is dedicated to his children. Rich or poor, famous or not, he shines as an example of what fathering is all about.

Our choice for May is Joe Kelly, a father of twin girls whose influence extends beyond his family to girls everywhere.

When Joe’s wife, Nancy, was pregnant, Joe and Nancy decided that they would share parenting responsibilities equally: each of them would work part-time on different shifts so they could be home with their child. "There was very little discussion about it," Joe says. "It just seemed like common sense." However, this decision was made before they were surprised in the delivery room with not one child, but two!

But their arrangement stuck, and while Joe and Nancy both reported that this arrangement was at times stressful and overwhelming, they still believed it was the best for their family. "We were very poor, on food stamps and WIC," says Joe. "But it was still incredible -- I wouldn’t trade it for anything! We shared the struggles and responsibilities of being a family, not just being a mom or a dad."

"It made for a good balance," says Nancy. "I needed to have some other things going on in my life. I would not have been a good stay-at-home mom."

From the day the girls were born, Joe was a natural father. He immediately felt comfortable with the babies. Fatherhood gave him a purpose he didn’t have before, and a motivation to change the things about himself that he wanted to. "For me, what I did living that life was to broaden the meaning of being a provider — not just opening my wallet, but opening my soul and my heart."

While being an equal partner in parenthood came naturally to Joe, he encountered some resistance to this role from society. At times, it was difficult for him to accept that fatherhood could be the main focus of a man’s life. "I really struggled emotionally... psychologically that I wasn’t enough of a man because I wasn’t making money and moving up the career ladder. It wasn’t easy encountering feelings of failure because I wasn’t out there being macho; I was at home changing diapers."

Joe was able to get past the feelings of inadequacy that he now knows are common for fathers who take a large role in parenting their children. "It leaves me scratching my head and wondering why more dads aren’t doing it."

Adolescence Isn’t Easy on Anyone
When Joe’s daughters were 11, his relationship with the girls became rocky. At that time, they needed some distance. "It’s very important to me as I look back that we were able to stay connected even throughout times of conflict," Joe says. "They emotionally slammed the door in my face. But my job was to be there when they reopened the door." It was this tumultuous period in his family’s life that led to the creation of New Moon: The Magazine for Girls and Their Dreams. Nancy and Joe had concerns about serious issues that faced their daughters. "Adolescent girls go emotionally underground and silence themselves," explains Joe. "This is in part because the world treats them as objects and as body parts. When you’re 12, how can you make sense of this? Girls start to doubt themselves and silence themselves -- they think they’re crazy for feeling this way."

So Joe and Nancy did research, which told them that there were many problems facing adolescent girls -- but their research didn’t tell them how to fix the problems. "Our girls were into reading, so a magazine focusing on what girls do and who they are seemed like a good solution," says Joe. "When we told the girls about it, they looked at us like we were nuts. We knew nothing about running a magazine."

"The magazine helped hold our family together," says Nancy. "Having a common goal helped us smooth over the bumps." The magazine also helped Joe and Nancy understand that what their girls were going through was a common developmental stage. Nine years later, New Moon is still going strong and continues to be written by girls, for girls.

Joe Today: An Advocate for Girls
"Like most dads, I would do anything to protect my daughters from harm," says Joe. "So I reduce the threats -- most of which are cultural."

Joe’s instinctive protectiveness as a father extends beyond his daughters to all girls, and in his new role of executive director of Dads and Daughters, he’s in a unique position to do something about it. The organization is dedicated to giving fathers the tools to transform the world, and to help fathers strengthen their relationships with their daughters.

"The message of Dads and Daughters is not just to do everything right at home, but to carry the message to the rest of the world you live in," Joe says. "As hard as you try to parent your daughters well, they’re still getting messages from the outside."

Joe asks fathers to remember what a stake they have in making the world a better place for girls. "Put your daughter’s face on images and experiences you see around you, and if it pisses you off, complain."