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Brad Nessler

By Kendeyl Johansen

Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a father who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a man and a father. Above all, the Dad of the Month is dedicated to his children. Rich or poor, famous or not, he shines as an example of what fathering is all about.

When ESPN and ABC courted Brad Nessler as their NBA play-by-play commentator, it seemed a slam-dunk career choice. Most men can only dream of attending gratis courtside NBA games, meeting sports stars, talking basketball on network TV and getting paid for it. Nessler wanted to say yes to the job, but it would require extensive travel and grueling hours.

And Nessler loves basketball, but he wasn't willing to sacrifice his close relationships with his wife, Nancy, and 16-year-old daughter, Reis. The family sat down for several long talks to discuss the job.

Eventually they decided Nessler should take it, after working out a unique way to stay close. "Before accepting this job I signed a two-page contract with my wife and daughter about my level of family availability and involvement," Nessler says. "Nancy and Reis were tough negotiators, and they had me sign off on 19 items."

As per Nessler's contract, he assumes more "husband" and "dad" tasks when not traveling, and he devotes his time at home to his family. Also, he checks in regularly from the road and keeps actively involved in family life.

He logs 150 to 200 days of travel per year, but Nessler offsets that by bringing Nancy and Reis – and her friends – along whenever he can. And Reis and her friends can't wait to meet NBA superstars and cheer at games.

It's difficult to keep track of "family" things from the road, and Nessler advises other traveling dads to call home often. "I always call Reis when she gets home from school, and if I don't call by 2:40 she gets worried," he says. "I call again at night to find out about Reis' and Nancy's days."

He feels lucky that he can rely on Nancy for most of the day-to-day parenting. "I try to be there when I can, but Nancy does a great job running things while I'm away," he says. Knowing Nancy can handle issues at home reduces stress for Nessler on the road.

While working, Nessler keeps current on family happenings by having Nancy or Reis videotape missed events. Last year Nessler was commentating in Minnesota during Reis' cheerleading competition. "Traveling is tough sometimes – I wanted to be at home with my family; they wanted to be with me!" he says.

He made it home in time for two of Reis' four competition events. "I don't get to see Reis practice cheerleading very often, so seeing her do those routines was unbelievable," he says. "I didn't know she could do stunts like that – I was so proud of her!" And as for the events that he missed, Nessler says watching videos later beats missing events altogether.

During the NBA season, and especially throughout the playoffs, Nancy and Reis know Nessler's schedule is crammed with work demands, but after the season he's all theirs. "This means no work and no sports," he says. "I'm not even allowed to watch Sports Center – OK, I sneak that in sometimes but that's it," he says, laughing. But he's serious about family time. The Nesslers reconnect while beachcombing, horseback riding, traveling and just hanging out and joking together.

Sometimes the family escapes for a vacation (mostly) without work. Last year while on vacation in Florida, Nessler was scheduled to call two games on the West Coast. Utilizing two red-eye flights and one supersonic taxi ride, he managed to work both games and return to Florida in just 28 hours. "I rolled out my beach towel next to Nancy and Reis and hoped nobody had noticed I was gone," he says. He was exhausted but happy.

Recently Nessler had to face the reality of Reis dating and driving. "Both freak me out, and I bite my lip when I'm driving with her, even though she's doing fine," he says. "Her first official date was last Valentine's, and I juggled my schedule to make sure I was there so I could scare her date."

And last year Nessler asked his boss for the first favor in 20 years – he wanted to see Reis in her homecoming dress. "Reis knew I had to work in Florida and was kind of bummin' that I wouldn't see her in her new dress on such an important night," he says.

On Reis' homecoming day Nessler screamed out of Florida minutes after the final NBA buzzer. He arrived in Atlanta in time to surprise Reis, her date and a group of friends at the restaurant prior to their dance. "Reis was not paying attention when I walked in but I think everyone else was," he says. "They saw me get this shocked 'Oh my God, you're a woman in a strapless gown!' look on my face, and it scared all of the guys. She was pretty shocked and happy. It was the highlight of my fall season."

When Nessler isn't frightening teenage boys away from Reis, he's dating Nancy. He attributes the success of his 25-year marriage to regular dates with his wife, which involves plenty of kissing. The couple might spend an afternoon antiquing or enjoy golfing and then head for a romantic restaurant.

"Or maybe we've been together so long because we have separate sides of the bathroom," he says, joking.

Traveling is sometimes lonely, but Nessler spends most of his alone-time reading sports-related material in books, newspapers and on the Internet. "It's the only way to stay on top of things career-wise," he says.

He also collects classic cars and is especially proud of his '56 Thunderbird, '61 Corvette and '65 Mustang. But he's bought his last collectible for a while. "I promised Reis no more car purchases until she gets one," he says.

Next to his family, basketball and cars, Nessler loves his suitcase. "My carry-on is one of my best friends," he says. "It's getting rickety, but it fits into every overhead bin on every airline, I don't have to check it and it clears security without problems."

This morning Nessler just returned from an NBA trip, and he and his suitcase are leaving again tomorrow, but the rest of today is for working the game he likes best: his home game.