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Lanny Sherwin

By Jenn Director Knudsen

Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a father who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a man and a father. Above all, the Dad of the Month is dedicated to his children. Rich or poor, famous or not, he shines as an example of what fathering is all about.

Our choice for December is Lanny Sherwin, songwriter and father of one.

Having a baby is synonymous with sleep deprivation, and there's not much a new parent can do about it – unless you're Lanny Sherwin, that is.

Sherwin tried the usual tactics: walking, rocking, singing to and playing music for his baby boy, Alexander "Alec" James Sherwin. Eventually, he tired of the baby lullabies he played over and over – so much so that he sat down to write his own lullaby, one that wouldn't grind on his already frazzled nerves like so much Elmo.

Sherwin wrote a song from his heart to his son's heart. "It all really started writing lullabies to help him get to sleep and to express my love for him," he says. And out of that effort came not only a little shuteye for Alec, but a hit baby song that led to the release of a CD full of them.

"His lullaby songs are just one example of his expression of love for Alec," says Holly, Sherwin's wife of 11 years. "They were personal and from the heart. He had not written them for commercial use – they were just songs that he wanted to sing to Alec. Of course everyone who heard them suggested that the songs were too good to keep to ourselves."

Sherwin came to fatherhood late in life and says he's glad it happened that way. Sherwin, 52, and Holly, 44, welcomed Alec on February 16, 1997, after the pair spent years dabbling in various careers and living in many different cities both here and abroad. Sherwin once lived in Cleveland, Ohio, and even in France's Dordogne region.

Always a writer, Sherwin wrote and took photos for newspapers and magazines through the 1970s and 1980s, eventually publishing the Florida's Gulfshore Life Magazine Online and running his own publishing company. At the time, he lived in Naples, Fla., where he met Holly, a nature educator.

After selling his Gulfshore Publishing Co., Inc. in 1986, he returned to songwriting and formed a band called Midlife Crisis that performed at conventions and other similar venues. "And out of that, that sort of rekindled my songwriting (desire)," he says.

Sherwin never found commercial success in the New York or Los Angeles music markets, and so in 1993, the couple picked up and moved to Franklin, Tenn. There, Sherwin says he tried his hand at writing, producing and getting paid for country songs. But Sherwin's country music career never took off; unbeknownst to him at the time, real inspiration wouldn't come along until Alec did.

Holly says though Sherwin's the "ultimate researcher" – reading books about discipline, raising boys, preschool art, games and kid-friendly vacations – Sherwin felt by the time their son was 2 years old, he hadn't done anything tangible for him. He'd never kept a diary, for example. So writing a lullaby for Alec seemed just the thing. "It'd at least be better than Barney or Elmo," he says. After two or three tries, he was happy with his song "Angels," composed for guitar, whose chorus goes like this:

You're the reason I believe in angels as I do.
Who else but angels could make someone as beautiful as you?

That song launched a mini-career for Sherwin, and he dropped country music to begin producing CDs for children.

Available since January 2002, Sherwin's CD, Dream with Me Tonight, is available at music stores nationwide, as well as online. And it's received accolades, including a NAPPA, or National Parenting Publishers Award, he received in early September. "We're very fortunate to get those," he says, referring to himself and vocalist Melodie Crittenden, formerly of Asylum Records. They recognize competition from other baby-music makers, such as Raffi, is stiff.

He plans to produce and release a second CD of lullabies by Alec's 6th birthday and is currently looking for a male vocalist.

Sherwin, president of Sandman Records, is happy with his success as a musician, but he's happier his music has led to even greater involvement in his son's life.

Sherwin says he is "frustrated" with the typical Dad role, whereby most fathers – like his own – are distant and not as involved as the mothers are in their children's lives and care. Making music for Alec and for children in general has allowed him to see how his own son and others respond to music. This bond has made him feel more fulfilled as a dad, and he believes it's healthy for other fathers to witness such involvement. "Kids need to see a dad being warm, tender and loving," he says.

And he is public with his affection toward Alec. He launched a series of pajama parties at a local bookstore. The kids, escorted by their parents, come dressed in their pajamas and with an appetite for milk, cookies and songs that Sherwin sings while accompanying himself on guitar. Often, Alec will crawl into his dad's lap while Sherwin performs for the assembled families. "As a parent, as a dad, it turns me on to interact with kids that way," he says.

He also throws similar parties that he and Holly host in their home, including one a couple of years ago that served as a fundraiser for Alec's preschool.

Today, Alec is a kindergartener, so he attends a half-day of school five days a week. "Which does break your heart," Sherwin says. "It's sad to see them go." But this new schedule allows Mom and Dad more time to work from home during the week and is an excuse for more concentrated family time come the weekends.

On Saturdays, they take in the local children's museum, Cumberland Science Museum, a bike ride or they just play on the family home's 7-acre lot, swimming pool included.

Alec entering kindergarten also has increased Sherwin's morning responsibilities. He dresses Alec, packs his lunch – maybe a yogurt, soymilk and roast beef sandwich, though Sherwin and Holly are vegetarians – and takes him to school three days a week. At night, he reads endlessly to Alec, who's a real fan of books.

"We literally probably have 250 books," Sherwin says. Some of their favorite titles are The Naughty Bunny by Richard Scarry, We're Going on a Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen and Owl Moon by Jane Yolen.

Sherwin also makes at least half the family's dinners, a cooking routine that he began once Alec was born. Favorites are grilled salmon and homemade vegetable pasta with shrimp, with homemade sauces of garlic and ginger. "I get to cook and then retire," he says, adding that Holly prefers the way she cleans up and moves about the kitchen to the way her husband does. "I'm banned from the laundry room, too," he says, laughing, and he takes no offense. "Life is too short to spend in the kitchen," he says.

One of Sherwin's favorite cookbooks is Dad's Own Cookbook: Everything Your Mother Never Taught You (Workman Pub., 1993) by Bob Sloan. "[It] has tons of quick, easy, but good meals for dads who have been intimidated by the K-word (kitchen). Let's Dad build confidence and have fun," Sherwin says.

Sherwin dedicates lots of his time to Alec and his special needs. Alec is developmentally delayed and requires a special touch, one that Sherwin's always willing to give. "It is Sherwin who has found activities to help stimulate his speech development, as well as his physical skills," Holly says. "This is not to say that Sherwin doesn't possess a good bit of internal wisdom when it comes to raising a child. He really does follow his heart in many instances and is always willing to put Alec's interests before his own."