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Nicholas A. Coia

By Jenn Director Knudsen

Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a father who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a man and a father. Above all, the Dad of the Month is dedicated to his children. Rich or poor, famous or not, he shines as an example of what fathering is all about.

Nicholas Anthony Coia from Lakemore, Ohio, turns on its head the theory that years of experience are required before becoming an expert at a job. When he married Nichole on Valentine's Day this year, Coia not only stepped into the role of husband, but also of father. And he didn't get the benefit of learning how to parent from the moment his son was born. Kian Michael McDuffie already was an active kindergartener when Coia and Nichole said their "I dos."

Would Coia change a thing? "No way," he says. "I was a little nervous at first. But once I got used to it, it's fun."

While Coia is having fun playing ball and studying with, cooking for, dressing, changing and bathing Kian, Nichole marvels at how adept Coia is at fathering, as well as at his ability to support his family, emotionally and financially. "Nic took on me, my little boy and everything that went with it," Nichole, 23, says. "He accepts Kian as his own and shows him so much love that it never fails to amaze me. Kian loves him right back and affectionately calls him 'Daddy.'"

Not bad for a young man of 19, who since getting married tacked on a second job so Nichole can stay at home with their son.

"He's new at this – he's taken on a lot of responsibility in helping to raise his son," says Coia's mom, Jean Coia, 52, who lives in nearby Ravenna, Ohio. "He's very caring. The little boy just seems to worship him. It's a good match."

Coia doesn't complain about responsibilities on the job or at home, says Nichole. "He always says it's worth it," she says. "Every day he goes out of his way to show his love and affection to Kian and [me]."

A full-time security guard and a part-time salesman for Radio Shack, Coia logs more than 60 hours a week at work. Before the couple married, he worked closer to 45 hours a week doing stock work at a local jewelry store. Coia is saving up some money so he can apply to the police academy – he'd like to become a patrol officer, eventually working his way into investigative work.

Not only is this new husband and father working outside the home way more than he used to, but he's also sleeping less. "I used to sleep in a lot, maybe rising around 9:30 a.m. most days," he says. Now, he's up when his son is up, closer to 8 a.m. "It's a little different having a little one running around. My life's been a lot more [fun] with Kian around."

Sleep-deprivation be damned is this new dad's attitude. "I'm still young, so I have lots of energy," he says.

Good thing because Kian makes sure his dad is constantly on the go. The two play football and tennis, go to movies, out to dinner and camp out in the backyard, often with Mommy, too. "It's a family night," Jean says. "He's very dedicated to his family and to Kian." Coia spends every spare moment with him.

Coia and Kian get their share of down time, too – the pair crash and watch television together. "He just watches whatever is on Nickelodeon," Coia says. RocketPower is a favorite program of Kian's, who turned 6 in early April.

Nichole says she is so fortunate to have Coia, not only for the well-being of their son, but also for her own. "I have so many health problems and cannot work or drive a car yet," she says.

Diagnosed at 15 with epilepsy, Nichole can't drive because of her condition. And she also suffers from an autoimmune disease called idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura, or ITP, whereby one's body attacks and kills off platelets that help blood to clot. A person with too few platelets bruises easily and may have frequent nosebleeds that are hard to stop, as well as intestinal bleeding, according to the American Academy of Family Physicians' Web site.

ITP leaves Nichole exhausted 24 hours a day. "It's a lot to deal with for anyone, but Nic has taken such good care of me," she says. "And he steps in to care for Kian when I'm sick."

Coia also helped Nichole through the emotional trauma of a miscarriage she suffered shortly before the couple got married. "I kind of sank into a depression for a while, and he tried absolutely everything to make me feel better," she says. "He'd go buy me ice cream and rent movies for me."

Coia does get some reprieve, mainly from members of the couple's extended family. Nichole's grandmother – Kian's great-grandmother – lives close by and is involved in his life, as is Nichole's mom, who often takes her grandson to the Holy Spirit Catholic Church in neighboring Uniontown on Sundays.

Though most of the housework falls to Nichole, Coia says the couple shares nearly every responsibility where childcare is concerned, so he never feels burdened by what it takes to raise Kian. "We try to help each other out as much as possible," he says. "We kind of share everything."

Doesn't Coia ever lose his temper? "No, not really," he says without much hesitation. Even if Kian is uncooperative – for example, if he doesn't want to clean up his room – Coia says he's patient with his son and often will offer him a goodie to goad him into doing the loathsome chore. The promise of a Klondike bar usually does the trick, Coia says with a chuckle.

Though Kian's gustatory desires are easily satisfied – with a bowl of cereal for breakfast and a corndog for dinner – Coia prepares French toast and pancakes some mornings, and for dinner, he'll put together "the basics," as he calls them: spaghetti or macaroni and cheese, always accompanied by a salad. "[Kian] always has to have a salad," Coia says.

While others watch in amazement, Coia just does what he needs to do as employee, husband and father. But he recognizes being a new dad to a young child is unique and a big challenge. "Sometimes I still can't believe that I got so lucky," Nichole says.

"I jumped into Kian's life after he was a little grown up," Coia says. "But it's fun. He just totally changed my life around and made it better. We make a great family together."