Carnie Wilson

By Donna Smith

Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a mother who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a woman and a mother. Above all, the Mom of the Month is dedicated to her children. Rich or poor, famous or not, she shines as an example of what mothering is all about.

Life is pretty good right now for Carnie Wilson. The former singer for the pop group Wilson Phillips has three books under her belt, Gut Feelings (Hay House, 2001), I'm Still Hungry: Finding Myself Through Thick and Thin (Hay House, 2003) and her first cookbook, To Serve With Love (Hay House, 2005).

Adding "author" to her list of accomplishments is not all Wilson has been up to – she can now add "Mom." Married to guitarist Rob Bonfiglio, the couple are the proud parents of an active toddler, Lola Sophia.

After a short reunion of the Wilson Phillips trio, which included her sister, Wendy, and friend Chynna Phillips, she returned to music as a solo artist. Her lullaby album, A Mother's Gift: Lullabies From the Heart (Big3 Records, 2006), was released in May.

The inspiration for the new CD? Quite simply: Lola. "Clearly having a child made me realize how important love is," says Wilson. "I wouldn't even describe it as love. The feeling that you'd do just anything for this little person. She just touched me in a way that I felt I wanted to give back. It's for her. The music is for her, but it's also for other babies too, and other mothers. I can't believe how beautiful it is to go to sleep at night, to put your child to bed at night and watch them fall asleep. To hold them in your arms."

The soft, soothing sounds of lullabies became an important part of the bedtime and naptime routines for Wilson, even before Lola arrived. "I remember being pregnant and starting to buy lullaby CDs and artists that had recorded lullabies," she says. "Actually, whatever I could get my hands on I bought. I probably bought about 60 CDs with different versions of songs and lullabies because I knew it was going to be an important part of putting Lola to sleep."

Music was already a part of Lola's life, even before her arrival on April 22, 2005. Wilson and her husband made sure she heard music in the womb. "My husband would play guitar [and] we would sing to her," she says. "I would put speakers up to my belly. She was exposed to lots, to a whole bunch of different styles of music."

Carnie Wilson Recommends... Lullaby Land (Youngheart Music, 1994) by Linda Arnold "Linda Arnold does lullaby and children's CDs and she's got this absolutely fantastic voice that reminds me of Linda Ronstadt," says Wilson. "She's amazing. She's got a CD called Lullaby Land, which Lola just adores. I mean, the minute it's turned on if Lola is crying or upset or doesn't want to go down or she's overly tired, she hears it – and that's it. She stops in her tracks and listens. It's amazing." Lola's favorite song on her Mom's CD? "Lola Sophia," of course.

One particular womb favorite of Lola's was Frank Sinatra. Deciding to wake up and move every night around 11, Lola would also wake up her mom. Wilson and Bonfiglio would put on some tunes for her active "tummy." "We'd play Frank Sinatra, and whenever the orchestra or strings or horns would come in, I swear to God she would dance," says Wilson. "And at one point I said to Rob, 'I don't know whether we're scaring her or if she loves it.' I think she loves it because when she hears strings and horns now, she looks up and sways back and forth. It's so cute."

After Lola's birth, one CD in particular stood out for Wilson, Kenny Loggins' Return to Pooh Corner (Sony Wonder, 1994). "It was set in stone," says Wilson. "I knew I had to make a lullaby record."

A Mother's Gift: Lullabies From the Heart became a family affair. The first song Wilson recorded, "Heaven," was written by her Uncle Carl. "Just a beautiful, beautiful song," says Wilson. "It's probably my Uncle Carl's best song. And my cousin, Justin, his son, sang vocals on it." Wilson's Uncle Dennis wrote the song, "Forever," and her Mom's group, The Honeys, sang on the album as well.

One of the CD's most touching songs is "You Are So Beautiful," which Wilson sings with her dad, Beach Boys cofounder Brian Wilson. And Wilson asked her sister, Wendy, to write a song. "I thought, well, if I'm having my dad, my mom, I've got to have my sister," says Wilson. "It would end up more being like a family affair. It wasn't really intended. It just worked out that way, which I love."

Wilson wants parents and children to "get a huge blast, a wave of love, just a feeling of love, serenity and peace" from the CD. "Just a soothing time for them to relax and enjoy some of the greatest songs ever written: 'Over the Rainbow,' 'Wonderful World,' 'Love Me Tender' – some beautiful, beautiful melodies. If a parent could experience what I did, which was when I nursed her to sleep and hear music that was beautiful, the feeling of listening to that music and looking at her was so special because music is so meaningful to me. And I just knew that music was helping her to fall asleep. I knew that she was hearing it with her little ears for the first time. There were so many meanings. It had so much significance."

Wilson cannot say enough about her adorable 1-year-old. "Lola is extremely animated and active," she says. "And she's very curious. She's very aware. She's very, very aware. She's a bright baby. She says over 20 words. We stopped counting. It's unbelievable. You tell her something one time and she remembers. We just can't believe it."

Read More About Carnie Wilson Carnie Wilson talks about her pregnancy, weight loss issues and fight with postpartum depression here.

Lola just began to walk, and loves to go outside for walks. "She loves the outdoors," says Wilson. "She loves flowers and trees and she loves babies. She just goes bonkers for other babies. She puts her hand out and she has to touch the baby's face. She's amazing. She just loves people."

And Lola is already showing an interest in music. "She has a baby grand piano that she got for her birthday," says Wilson. "She loves to play the piano. She just stands up and bangs on it and she goes 'Ahhh.' She's singing already."

Being a working mom, Wilson says she has constant feelings of guilt. "I want to be with her 24 hours a day," she says. "I think everything is all guilt. It should be called 'I had a baby and now I'm guilty.' And it never goes away. But the joy is so overwhelming."

Wilson structures her day so she sees Lola every morning and then sporadically throughout the day, and the hours between 4:30 and 7 are special ones for the family. "Those are my other hours with her, every single day," says Wilson. "It's so precious to me. I just demand in my schedule to be with her. And I do. And I'm so happy to do that. It's a lot of pressure because I have to do certain things. It's such a challenge. It's such hard work. I feel like I just can't do enough for her. I feel like I want to do more and more and more."

Most moms will agree with Wilson on what she says is the hardest part of motherhood: lack of sleep. "It affects everything else, you know?" says Wilson. "When you don't sleep, it's hard to have your energy and then you have less patience."

Carnie Wilson's Advice for New Moms "Sleep when the baby is sleeping," says Wilson. "But if you have too many things to get done, it's really hard. That's the time you do the dishes; that's the time you take a shower; that's the time you make your phone calls. It's so hard. And that's why managing your time is so important." And drink lots of water, she adds. "And of course, enjoy every moment that you have with them," says Wilson.

Wilson says she's not a paranoid mother, but a cautious one. "I'm the type that I think of all the different scenarios, so if something is bothering her, I want to find a way to fix it," she says. "I'm definitely the more nervous type. I'm not the laid back parent. I'm very hands-on, ready to go and do, and so is she."

Motherhood has made Wilson stronger, she says. "It's another chapter; it's another experience, another adventure, another test of my strength and patience, endurance," she says. "But it's opened up my heart like I just can't believe. I don't even think it's love. It's something else beside love. It's something deeper."

What's the best part about being a mom for Wilson? "Everything," she says. "It's just unbelievable."

As a family, Wilson says they enjoy going to the park and taking walks together. And mealtime is another family favorite. "We love to eat meals together," she says. "Lola just had her one-year checkup, so now she's able to be off formula, and she's eating solid food too. So I'm trying to make a structure of mealtime every night. And we have breakfast together."

Good Eating! Try Carnie Wilson's recipe for Fall to Your Knees Mac and Cheese!

Lola also enjoys spending time with her cousins, Leo and Beau. "Leo is 2 1/2 and Beau is 1 1/2," says Wilson. "And they are just the most loving little boys. We try to spend every weekend together. We have the family and her grandma come to visit during the week, but on the weekends we have either dinner, brunch or breakfast and we all spend time playing. It's just great. The whole family is spending more time together because of the babies."

But overall, Wilson just enjoys being Lola's mom. "I just love being with her," she says. "I love watching her develop. I think about her spirit, her happiness. I love to just watch her, watch her do her thing ... it's all about Lola, forever."

Want to see more?

• Celebrity Parents
• Fine Tuning: Carnie Wilson on Pregnancy, Weight Loss and Postpartum
• Carnie Wilson's Exercise Tips
• Talk about it!