Leslie Haskin

By Kelly D. Burgess

Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a mother who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a woman and a mother. Above all, the Mom of the Month is dedicated to her children. Rich or poor, famous or not, she shines as an example of what mothering is all about.

On September 11, 2001, Leslie Haskin was having a routine conversation with her assistant on the thirty-sixth floor of the North Tower of the World Trade Center. At that moment, the first plane struck just a few floors above her offices. Stunned and terrified, Haskin and her fellow office workers slowly made their escape through smoke, fire and people so horribly injured that their images still haunt Haskin. Shortly thereafter, she watched from the deck of a ferry in New York Harbor as the towers fell.

The horrors Haskin witnessed that day profoundly changed her life. After climbing from a deep depression caused by post-traumatic stress disorder, she realized she could never go back to her competitive life climbing the corporate ladder. Spiritually, she was reborn. Now she helps other women through a program she has created called Safe HUGS, which provides homes to the homeless and to women and children who are victims of domestic violence. It's her way of erasing the nightmares of that terrible day.

Haskin was born in Chicago, the youngest of 15 children. Her home didn't lack spiritual direction; her father was a preacher, and her mother was a choir director. As they grew up, her brothers and sisters remained true to the teachings of their faith, but Haskin, the most willful of the siblings, wanted more. She was smart, popular and ambitious, and she put those qualities to good use in high school, winning the NAACP's National ACT-SO award two years in a row and writing a column for the Chicago Sun-Times.

After graduation, Haskin attended Columbia College of Missouri and Blackburn College until the money ran out. She initially stayed in Chicago but moved to New York City after her father died, finding a job as a receptionist at a brokerage firm. But Haskin wanted more.

Haskin thrived in the corporate world, steadily moving up the corporate ladder while acting as a single parent to her son, Eliot. Eventually she arrived at what seemed to be the pinnacle of success: She became director of operations for one of the largest insurance companies in the country and one of only two African-Americans to hold an executive title within the corporation's Eastern region.

"I started my career as a receptionist, set my sights on executive management and deliberately climbed the corporate ladder," says Haskin. "On my way, I enjoyed the perks and gifts and all the power that came with each step. On September 11, I was midway up with tunnel vision. My faith was in what my own hands could build, and my hopes were on a vice presidency."

Haskin seemed to have it all, but on the inside she was already rationalizing her success and her lifestyle. Memories of her lost childhood faith seemed to tug at her.

Like many who worked in New York City at that time, Haskin was financially and emotionally devastated by the events of September 11. Furthermore, she couldn't shake off the memory of the unspeakable tragedies she'd seen that day, and she spiraled into a deep depression caused by post-traumatic stress disorder. As part of her treatment, Haskin's therapist urged her to keep a journal. That journal later became the basis for her book, Between Heaven and Ground Zero (Bethany House, 2006), which details Haskin's spiritual journey.

Haskin was so scarred by her experiences trying to escape from the tower that at one point her prognosis for a full recovery was not good. Then, Haskin says, God sent her a messenger in the form of her son, Eliot.

"God orchestrated one event that put me on the path to healing," Haskin says. "My son spoke to me about being 'lukewarm' and asked if I wanted to receive the Lord. I've been experiencing joy in this beautiful relationship with him ever since. The healing has been a journey, but the relationship began immediately."

From that moment on, Haskin says she knew her old life was over and a new life of service to the Lord and her fellow man had begun.

As Haskin threw herself into her newfound faith and became more involved in her local church, The Goodwill Church in Montgomery, N.Y., she began to search for ways she could help others. Inspired by her pain and her experience with homelessness after her financial downturn following September 11, she decided to focus on alleviating others' pain and the problem of homelessness in her community. Haskin founded Safe HUGS to provide homeless women and children with homes of their own so they could always feel they have a safe place to go.

Haskin says the difference between Safe HUGS and other programs that aim to help the homeless is that Safe HUGS provides actual homes, not just a room in a shelter. Her vision is to provide an alternative to government programs and place people in a relaxing neighborhood home environment with their own bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room and a backyard they can enjoy.

That mission has been a challenge, Haskin admits, noting that financial considerations, political agendas and county residents who do not see a need for such homes confront her organization. Still, she's committed to addressing the economic, spiritual and social hardships that afflict communities large and small. She's inspired by her own experience and wants to spare others what she's been through.

"Pain is inspiring," Haskin says. "There is a lot of pain out there, and people need to know that there is hope on the other side of their pain. I think the homeless as well as women and children who are victims of domestic violence are a large, invisible population in great pain. God has blessed me with a longing in my heart to help."

In addition to her work as director of Safe HUGS, Haskin travels the country speaking movingly about her experiences on September 11, her emotional recovery and her spiritual journey. She also leads a ministry for singles. As a single mother who was once on the corporate fast track and is almost as busy with her newfound direction, she knows how hard it is to balance family and work. Her advice to parents is simple: Spend a lot of time talking with your children, watch movies together and do things with them that they like to do. Most important of all is to listen.

"Listen to them without always offering up your way to do things," Haskin says. "Sometimes they need you to hear, not advise. Also, be strong and courageous. Parenting is not for cowards. Do and say the things that need to be said to your children even if it makes you unpopular. Trust me – they'll respect you for it."

Haskin also says it's important for children to be taught to make good decisions that honor God and to be brought up in the way of the Lord. She's still growing in that respect herself, noting that she doesn't know what life has in store for her in the future, only that she's walking blindly with her hand in his and that he's leading her in a direction she's more than willing to follow.

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