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Laura Berman

By Kelly Burgess

Each month, iParenting.com spotlights a mother who inspires and moves us, who embodies the qualities that we all admire in a person, a woman and a mother. Above all, the Mom of the Month is dedicated to her children. Rich or poor, famous or not, she shines as an example of what mothering is all about.

Meet February's Mom of the Month, Dr. Laura Berman, who is a nationally recognized sex educator and therapist. With her sister, urologist Jennifer Berman, Dr. Laura co-authored the book Women Only: A Revolutionary Guide to Overcoming Sexual Dysfunction and Reclaiming Your Sex Life (Henry Holt & Company, Inc., 2001). The sisters have appeared on Oprah, 48 Hours and Larry King Live, to name just a few. In addition, Dr. Laura recently opened The Berman Center in Chicago, a health center for women focusing on female sexual health and menopause management.

Not only has Dr. Laura achieved such amazing success, but she's done so while raising her son Ethan, 7. Just five months ago, she added a new baby, Samuel, to her list of accomplishments.

Dr. Laura admits that she worried about having another baby when she was already so busy, but says it has worked out better than she'd even hoped. "In some ways, a baby's easier because I can take him on the road with me and he can come to the office if necessary," Dr. Laura says. "That was particularly important when I was breastfeeding full-time. Ethan, on the other hand, is in school and it's not as easy to pack him up and take him."

Ethan himself has made life with a new baby easier, Dr. Laura points out, because he is very helpful. To begin with, he was already wishing for a baby brother, so there are few jealousy issues. When he does feel any resentment toward Sammy, Ethan is very good about verbalizing his feelings, as he has been taught to do, rather than acting out toward the baby. Dr. Laura also notes, wryly, that being "extremely flexible and extremely unrested" have also contributed to making it all work.

Husband Sam Chapman, her business partner at the Berman Center, shares the load as well. The two became business partners in spite of Dr. Laura's long-held belief that a husband and wife working together was a bad idea.

"I had always felt that spouses working together was a bad idea because it's hard to create spontaneity in the relationship," Dr. Laura says. "But what I've discovered is that it adds another element to the relationship. I love to watch him work and see how he gets things done on a daily basis. It's contributed to my attraction toward him. I think it's sort of a caveman, bring home the meat, primal thing."

Bringing Home the Meat

Not that Dr. Laura can't bring home the meat quite well herself. The daughter of a surgeon, she majored in anthropology at the University of Vermont, then completed her master's in clinical social work and doctorate in health education and therapy, with a specialty in human sexuality, at New York University.

She opened her first sexual health clinic for women in Los Angeles, but hit the headlines when she and sister Jennifer teamed up. In addition to their book, the sisters host Berman and Berman, a show devoted to sexuality, on the Discovery Channel. The two beautiful blondes with their ability to talk about the most intimate subjects have proved irresistible to the media. Cosmopolitan Magazine even dubbed them "The Love Doctors."

But they're not just another pretty face; their mission is a serious one. "It's important for everyone, women and men, to have a healthy relationship with sexuality and with your body," Dr. Laura says. "For some reason, this is more acceptable for men, but it shouldn't be. Understanding how to be a healthy, sexual being is an important part of being a whole person."

Although Dr. Laura treats adults, it's with our children, she notes, that we have to start with the proper education about sex and sexuality. In fact, she conducts classes for parents on how to raise sexually healthy kids.

"Children need to feel a sense of pride and control over their bodies, but it should be an organic, ongoing conversation," Dr. Laura says. "It should start when they're teeny with you helping them to name body parts to create a good sense of pride and self-esteem in their bodies. It also creates an environment where you're conceived of as a person who they can come to with questions."

Dr. Laura admits that her son, Ethan, is an extreme example of a child who is comfortable with his knowledge of the female reproductive system. She also admits that, although she's thrilled with Sammy, that she was kind of hoping for a girl this time.

"I guess it's just my lot to raise the sensitive 'new age' guy," she says. "I'm empowering them to be two socially enlightened and sexually educated boys."

If more parents had such a worthy goal, Dr. Laura might just be out of a job.