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The Dollars and Cents of Marriage
Are Finances Tearing Your Relationship Apart? By Teri Brown
For Jackie* and her husband, Alan*, sitting down to pay bills used to be an exercise in frustration for both of them. Her husband would complain that she spent too much money on their son, but the money he had disappeared almost as fast. After totaling up over $15,000 in credit card debt, it became obvious that they had to do something, as both their finances and their marriage were suffering.
Sound familiar? According to the Association of Bridal Consultants, more than 67 percent of newlyweds believe the most serious conflict in their first year of marriage is about money. In addition, of the 40,000 consumers who call in to Cambridge Credit Counselors for free financial advice, about 4 percent blame money problems for their divorce.
"Financial stress in any relationship can easily breed anxiety, blame and anger," Viale says. "Understanding your financial personalities early on and routinely discussing your finances will help build a successful and healthy relationship."
By financial personality, Viale means whether you are a saver or a spender or if you are frugal as opposed to an impulse shopper. Once you understand this, take the time to set parameters and roles for your relationship. Will you share a bank account? Will one person manage the bill paying? What is a reasonable spending budget you can both agree on?
Viale believes it is necessary for couples with problems like Jackie and Alan to sit down and discuss their financial problems as soon as possible. "They should gather up their monthly bills, expenses and outstanding payments, including loan charges, credit card bills, mortgage payments and daycare costs, and set a budget for themselves," Viale says. "It is not always necessary to drastically change your lifestyle in order to get out of debt. More frequently, couples can get a hold on their financial situation by simply cutting out or back on expenses that they may not realize are excessive."
