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Home › Webmother's Musings

Reactions to an American Tragedy

By Elisa Ast All

Like the rest of the world, I am devastated by the terrorist attacks on the United States. Everyone I know has been touched by this tragedy; most have been shaken to the core. How can people do this to one another? Why is there this type of hatred and destruction in our world? How can we make sense of utterly senseless acts?

It is hard for anyone to answer these questions. But we as parents have a responsibility to respond when our children – innocents who cannot even begin to comprehend the terrorism in our world – ask us what happened, and why.

Depending on the age of your children, the first decision to make is whether or not to tell them what happened. If you have young children who are not in school and will not see or hear what has happened from any other sources, you may want to shield them from having to process these events. Make sure that your television or radio is not on while your children are present.

If, however, your children are in school or will hear the news from others, it is important that you explain what happened and help them understand it as well as they can. Because these are terrifying events that boggle even the bravest of us, the most important thing you can stress to your children is that they are safe. They need to know that their home and school are places where they will not be harmed.

Here are some ways to communicate with children and adolescents during times of crisis, provided by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP):

  • It's important to communicate to children that they're safe. Given what they may have seen on television, they need to know that the violence is isolated to certain areas and they will not be harmed. Parents should try to assure children that they've done everything they can to keep their children safe.
  • Adolescents in particular can be hard hit by these kinds of events and parents might want to watch for signs such as sleep disturbances, fatigue, lack of pleasure in activities enjoyed previously and initiation of illicit substance abuse.
  • Overexposure to the media can be traumatizing. It's unwise to let children or adolescents view footage of traumatic events over and over. Children and adolescents should not watch these events alone.
  • Adults need to help children understand the significance of these events. Discussion is critical. It should be stressed that the terrorist acts are ones of desperation and horror, and that they're not about politics or religion. Children should know that lashing out at members of a particular religious or ethnic group will only cause more harm.

Rather than letting the situation overwhelm you or your children, it can be helpful to put feelings of confusion and anger to work. We all feel better when we can take positive action to help, rather than feel useless on the sidelines. The Red Cross needs donations of blood; call 1-800-GIVE-LIFE for more information and to schedule an appointment. Participate in clothing drives – or organize one yourself. Ask your employer to match donations given to aid those affected by these events. You can make a difference!

For more information on giving blood, visit www.redcross.org.

For more from the AAP, visit www.aap.org.